Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners

Summary
"The secret of managing a club is to keep the five guys who hate you from the five who are undecided." -- Casey Stengel "Do they leave it there during games?" -- Bill Lee, upon first seeing the Green Monster, Fenway Park's 37-foot high left-field wall "The cops picked me up on the streets at 3:00 am and fined me $500 for being drunk and $100 for being with the Phillies." -- Bob Uecker "Well, she's already had so much experience grabbing herself, she should be great." -- Jay Leno, on Madonna appearing in the movie A League of Their Own "I pitch like my hair's on fire." -- Mitch Williams
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